


Too Good

by MaeTaurus



Series: Blue Neighborhood [14]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cheating, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:10:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeTaurus/pseuds/MaeTaurus
Summary: Phil fucks up and instead of dealing with it, he drinks away his problems.





	Too Good

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Troye Sivan's song, Too Good, from his album, Blue Neighborhood.
> 
> Originally posted to Tumblr on January 4, 2017.

> _Scared my love, you’ll go. **  
> **_
> 
> _Spend my love, heart broke._
> 
> _So my love, don’t show._
> 
> _Scared my love, you’ll go._

Phil was sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall in front of him. It was late and it was dark out. The only light in the room was coming from the television which Phil had muted so it was silent in the flat. Dan wasn’t there, he’d gone on vacation with his family, leaving Phil on his own. Usually it was Phil who went on vacation with his family and left Dan alone. Phil supposed this was payback for all those times.

Or maybe it was payback for something more recent, something Dan didn’t even know about. Phil was certain that once Dan did find out that he would leave him. Not that he’d blame him; Dan had every right to get angry.

Although he knew Dan should leave him, that isn’t what Phil wanted. He didn’t want to be without Dan, not now or ever. Phil felt like his heart was breaking even though he was the one that had done the breaking. He was scared of what Dan would do when he found out. He was scared Dan would scream at him and call him names and storm out of the flat. Mostly he was scared Dan would actually leave him; that Dan would break up with him and never look back. Phil had never been so scared in his life.

He’d known it had been too good to be true. The idea had been so appealing in the moment and although he’d tried to resist, Phil knew he could’ve tried harder.

Phil could picture Dan’s face, imagine what he would look like when he realized what a terrible boyfriend Phil really was. And he was, Phil knew he was. Nobody, especially Dan, deserved to be treated this way.

But he’d had a moment of weakness. Phil had let his mind lose out and he surrendered the battle before he’d even fought.

> _Fingers walk your thigh._
> 
> _Breathe my love, get high._
> 
> _And oh, I’m so scared,_
> 
> _Oh I’m so scared._
> 
> _It’s just for tonight._

_“Fuck,” Phil swore under his breath. He looked down and watched as brown hair moved with his head as he sucked Phil off._

_Phil reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. “Fuck yes, just like that. Mhm such a good boy,” he praised. He tilted his head back before letting out a loud groan._

_The brown haired boy looked up at Phil from under his eyelashes, smirking around Phil’s thick cock as he bobbed his head._

_When Phil looked down he met the boy’s gaze. “You’re so good at this,” Phil whispered, complementing the pretty boy that was on his knees in front of him. “So good.”_

_It wasn’t long before Phil pushed the boy away and muttered something about being close. Phil watched as the boy got up and crawled onto the blue and green checkered duvet. Phil grabbed a condom and an almost empty bottle of lube. He rolled the condom on before kneeling behind him._

_“Spread your legs,” Phil ordered, now rubbing lube onto his cock._

_He moved forward and pressed his cock to the boy’s entrance. “Fuck!” Phil moaned, louder than he’d intended. “You’re still so tight.”_

_Phil heard soft whimpers and moans come from the boy under him as he gently started to push in._

_“Mmm that’s a good little slut, take my cock,” he growled, watching as his cock disappeared into the boy’s bum._

_After waiting for him to fully adjust, Phil started to thrust slowly at first before gradually picking up the pace._

_A few minutes later the sound of Phil’s hips slapping against the boy’s bum was drowning out their panting and the boy’s soft moans, only Phil’s louder moans could be heard over the slapping noise._

_“Close,” Phil warned. He reached down and started to stroke the boy’s cock quickly, wanting him to come first. Phil smirked when the boy practically shouted as he came onto the duvet under him. He chuckled softly and pulled out, ripping the condom off quickly before coming onto the boy’s tanned bum._

> _So I take a sip, wait ‘til it hits,_
> 
> _That liquid guilt is on my lips,_
> 
> _I’m wasted on you._

Phil shook his head to get rid of the memory. It was such a pleasant one but it didn’t seem right to think about that now. He picked up the bottle of vodka and poured some into his almost empty glass, using Ribena to fill it up the rest of the way.

He took a long drink from his glass, wincing slightly at the burn of the alcohol as it went down.

Guilt washed over Phil in big waves that were far too close together for comfort. The memory had only made things worse, especially since he remembered it in so much detail. But it was still so fresh and as guilty as Phil felt now, he hadn’t in the moment.

He really did feel awful. An ex had done this to him in the past and Phil had been torn up over it for months before he was finally able to move on. And Phil had only been with the person for a few months. He dreaded to find out how torn up Dan would be since they’d been together for more years than he could count on one hand.

Phil sighed and took another few sips of vodka. He’d fucked up, he knew he had. He’d known it at the time but he pushed the feeling away, not wanting to deal with it.

The worst part was that Phil wasn’t even sure why he’d done it. Dan hadn’t done anything to make him upset or angry so it wasn’t for revenge. Maybe, Phil supposed, he’d done it as a sort of self-sabotage. He and Dan had finally gotten through their rough patch and things were great now. They were both happier than they had ever been, even happier than they were at the start of their relationship. So maybe he’d done it because deep down he didn’t think he deserved to be happy. Maybe he-

Phil’s thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing on the coffee table in front of him. He sat his glass down and reached for his phone, reading the text he’d gotten from Dan.

_To Phil: YOU DID WHAT????_

He frowned. He didn’t remember texting Dan at all. Phil scrolled back up and saw a series of texts he must’ve sent Dan earlier but was too drunk to remember.

_To Dan: I’m so sorry. I fucked up Dan. I really really fucked up._

_To Dan: I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t but it just happened. That’s not an excuse but that’s the truth. I’m sorry._

_To Dan: Do you forgve me? Pleas say ou forgive me Dab._

_To Dan: I’mm sorry I cheated on yo. I was stupi nd drink. I didnt mean to . Shit Dan please.._

> _Too good to be good for me,_
> 
> _Too bad that that’s all I need._
> 
> _Too good to be good for me,_
> 
> _Too bad that that’s all I need,_
> 
> _All I need._


End file.
